UPDATE ON THE MARTINI GLASS

Thanks for all your interesting comments regarding the case of the gorgeous martini glass.

I wrapped it up and sent it back to the author. Was that the best thing to do?
Not according to your comments. I think I will act differently next time and donate the item to a worthy cause.

THE LITERARY ETHICIST ASKS....

Last week the UPS man delivered a nice big box to me. I did not recognize the return address.

I began unwrapping the package and was very impressed with the billowy quantity of tissue paper and bubble-wrap. This is breakable--cool!

I carefully removed the final layer of bubble-wrap only to find a beautiful and quite expensive item. (The exact nature of the item shall remain untold to protect the sender.)

The next layer of the package contained an advance copy of an unpublished book and a query letter from a hopeful author. The author said that the beautiful item was a gift. Jon looked at the beautiful object and said, "You have to send it back."

"I do?" I said, cradling said item and getting quite fond of it. "Why? I didn't order this; it's a gift."

"No," he said. "It's a bribe."

"That's so cold," I sniffed, setting the lovely thing on my hutch. (It looked quite beautiful there, glinting seductively in the waning afternoon sun.)

"It's gotta go," he said.

"But, I'll have to pay postage for a thing I didn't order! It's not fair!"

"No, it's not fair," he said. "Send it back."

I'm not going to tell you the rest of the story. What is the ethical thing to do? What would you have done?

I'll tell you what I did in the next post.

IT'S NOT JUST THE WRITING

Jon received an email yesterday from an author he'd turned down at the partial stage. Jon told me that while he admired the author's writing, the content was simply too dark and troubling for Jon's taste.
Jon explained this to the author when he sent his rejection letter.
Yesterday the author wrote back telling Jon that he'd been picked up by another agent. He thanked Jon for his comments and said that, rather than discouraging him, the rejection gave him hope that another agent might see things differently.
This is not an unusual story. We often pass on projects that don't fit our own personal tastes because it's very hard to get behind a book that we don't find personally compelling.
So, when you receive rejections from agents like us think of them as stepping stones to your goal. If your writing is splendid, if the topic is unique and your voice is driving, your book will find a champion.

COMING BACK TO LIFE

January 2, 2011—I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in November, a week before our planned trip to the Northwest. Bummer.

I have always been proud (if a bit smug) about my consistent good health. My first wake-up call came in April when I discovered I had type 2 diabetes. Bummer.

I’m lucky though. I had undeniable symptoms (quick weight loss, thirst) and my physician assured me that I hadn’t had the condition for long. Diabetes is chronic and cannot be cured. It is up to me how quickly it progresses. I take one pill a day, count carbs, keep my weight down and try to exercise consistently. So far, so good. I feel great most of the time and the condition does not slow me down.

Cancer, though, that is something else again. The word itself is damn scary. After a consultation with my gynecologist, I made an appointment with a surgeon—a guy with a fine reputation for this kind of surgery. He explained everything to Jon and me and assured us that he was confident that endoscopic surgery would rid me of the cancer. If the post-surgery biopsy indicated that more malignant cells were present, I’d have to endure chemotherapy.

We scheduled surgery for December 8 and then went ahead with our plans to visit our son in Portland and my brother and sister-in-law in Boise, Idaho. I put the surgery and the cancer on the back burner and we had a wonderful time.

As soon as we returned, I was scheduled for every pre-op test imaginable including chest x-ray, ultrasounds, and countless blood tests. The 3 ½ hour surgery was successful and the surgeon said he was pleased with what he saw. The pathology report would be the final hurdle. We had an appointment to hear the results on December 19.

My recovery was excellent. I spent a week and a half sitting in a chair with my feet up watching “Real Housewives” and reading several books on my new Kindle. But after a few days I was making meals, doing laundry and other light tasks.

December 19 loomed large though. I felt numb when the surgeon said, “I have good news for you.” Just as he predicted, the pathology report was clean. Now I’m an ex-cancer patient. I’ll have frequent check-ups and various tests over the next few years, but I do not have cancer now—I hope I never have it again.

However, the diabetes diagnosis and this experience have really set my back. My health became the focal point and I’ve gotten so behind in agency work. And, between Jon’s 97-year-old mom and me, Jon, too, has let things slip.

That’s why I’m writing this blog at long last. Our New Year’s resolutions are simple: Read partials and manuscripts and report back to the authors who’ve entrusted us with their projects. Then….sell books.

Thank you for your patience. It’s a new year and we have committed ourselves to getting caught up. I look forward to many exciting publishing experiences ahead.

PRISON MAY BE JUST THE PLACE FOR WRITERS

Photo by Arvin Balaraman

Maybe what I need--maybe what you, as a writer need--is a stiff prison sentence. That might be just the ticket to get us all focused and inspired to churn out the work we so desperately need to do without the distractions of the digital age.

But I have to confess, it's not simply the Internet that gets in the way of my productive work. It's my aged mother-in-law, my failing cat, and the umpteen things that I'd rather be doing during the summer than putting nose to grindstone.

Here are a few tips I've come up with to help myself do what needs to be done. Maybe they will be helpful to you as well:

• Exercise in the morning, before the day begins. Then you have no excuse to quit working mid-day.
• Get your in-box down to a reasonable number and KEEP it there. (This is advice I really need to follow with upwards of 500 queries as of this writing.)
• If you are writing, write. Don't email or answer emails. Don't talk on the phone. Don't surf the web. Write for two hours or so, then do those things.
• Reward yourself with a night out, a movie, a visit with a friend after a long, productive day.Or, do you think the Internet helps you?

What do you do to keep yourself organized and prolific? Does the Internet slow down your progress?  How do you avoid its allure? Or, does the Internet help you?

CROSS THOSE T's--DOT THOSE I's!

I've spent much of this President's Day reading queries and organizing the emailed partials and manuscripts I've requested. Later in this post I'm going to sound like that old, cranky English teacher you had in high school. You remember--the one who insisted that you write your term paper in a conventional style and that you number the pages and write your name clearly. But for now, in the interest of transparency, I must confess some organizational sins of my own.

I asked for the same manuscript--twice. That's the trouble with electronic submissions. If you're not very organized, you can get in trouble. I have a new system in place which should prevent these kinds of mistakes.

I know I've done the same thing with rejections. How awful to get rejected once and then get rejected again. So sorry.

My current problem is that I'm loving a manuscript I requested, but the author did not put her contact info anywhere. It's not on the manuscript, her bio or the synopsis. I no longer have the original query. No way for me to contact her unless she reads this blog. Lisa T--email me?

Please remind yourself to identify everything you send to agents. Write your name, address, phone number and email address on each item. Use a running head on each page of your manuscript with your name and title of your book. Simple to do and it could mean a lot.

And, yes, a super-organized agent would never lose a contact. In a perfect world, all agents would be perfect secretaries. Trouble is, sometimes we're just not as together as we should be.

Oh, the photo above. It's just for fun--the first of the three amaryllis bulbs we received for Christmas from our daughter-in-law, Phaedra. They are all in bloom now and they make winter easier to bear.

AUTHOR RANTS--AGENT RANTS

Here's one for the "You Can't Please Everyone" files. This email came in tonight:

i send in my query with a SASE, and the best you can do is scribble a rejection on the bottom of my own query letter and send it back to me? that's not just rude, it's unprofessional; a professional would have had the courtesy to reject my query with a form letter. wassamatta- is your printer broken? unpublished writers don't merit simple human decency?

and you people are supposed to be in charge of public relations? shame on you.

This missive annoys me for several reasons:

1. It's Jon who "scribbles" on snail mail queries. He does it because he thinks it's more personal than a form letter. This person sent the email to me--I'm innocent here. I scribble my rejections via email and don't even deal with snail mail!
2. Authors tell us time and again how happy they are to find an agent who will respond to a query in ANY fashion. Many agents simply tell authors that if they don't hear back, consider it a rejection. I've been tempted to do that but Jon thinks it's tacky (and not very professional) not to respond.
3. I'm annoyed by the tone and attitude of this email. Somehow this author thinks we don't respond with "simple human decency"--pul-eeze! Human we are and we really bend over backwards to be decent!

OK, I think I'm done now. Just needed to rant and while the author certainly merited "simple human decency," I didn't think that email merited a personal response.

SUPER-QUERY-WRITER-FOR-YOU

Just when I think I've seen everything, I discover, ta-da!! SUPER-QUERY-WRITER-FOR-U!!

Let me back up. I've been on a magnificent roll for the past week--dealing with a huge back-up of emailed queries and getting my responses down to under 4 weeks. (I'm now finishing up my November queries and am so proud of myself.) But, for the past few days I've been noticing an interesting phenomenon. I've been receiving clumps of queries for different books from different authors using different email addresses. HOWEVER, these clumped queries (sometimes as many as 8 0r 10 in a row) are virtually identical in their format, font and type size. Even the writing style of the queries is the same.

Let me explain how this works. I open query #1 for the day sent on November 10. It's a nice book, but not for me. I email my standard rejection and close and discard the rejected query. I open query # 2 from a different author with a different email address. BUT it's the identical format!! Same thing for queries # 4, 5, 6 and so on. Tonight I was really on a roll--I opened 10 of these in a row!

So what's the problem?

It seems to me that some nice authors are getting ripped off. I am assuming that these authors are paying someone to write their queries. And, to be fair, the queries are pretty good. They are brief and to the point. BUT the person writing them is sending them one after another to the same agent. Didn't that person think that it would begin to look a little fishy that all the queries look the same?

The problem is that this is annoying to this agent. I don't like it. I feel like I'm being played and soon, I stopped reading these queries and just rejected them because they were in that same confounded format!

I really don't have a huge problem with authors getting help with their queries. And, if they want to hire a pro to write a query for them, I can't complain. But, whoever is sending these queries is a bonehead. A great business idea, writing queries for a living. But, for heaven's sake, be professional about how you send them out!

Does anyone out there know more about this?

BOWKER'S MANUSCRIPT SUBMISSIONS SERVICE: Heroes or Vultures?

As I took my morning walk on Saturday I was stunned to see a "For Sale" sign on one of my neighbor's homes. This is a beautiful property with a swimming pool, bikes in the driveway, a waterfall and a pergola covered with trumpet vines. A big, happy-looking family has lived there since it was erected 10 years ago and I was surprised to see it up for sale. As I looked at the sign, my gaze ventured up to the roof. There, perched on the perfect rooftop, was not one, but two TURKEY VULTURES! In all my years in this neighborhood, I've never seen these morbid (but necessary) birds anywhere but in the sky or chomping on something dead and stinky by the roadside or in a field. Why did they pick that particular day to roost on that newly listed house?

Talk about a bad omen! I hope these birds don't take up residence there. It would be very bad karma for the open house tour.

The vultures remind me of the publishing news I read last week. It seems that the bibliographic company Bowker, in a thinly-veiled effort to pump up their coffers, now offers authors the ability to submit their manuscripts to publishers through the new Bowker Manuscript Submissions feature. According to Bowker's August 11 press release:

"BowkerManuscriptSubmissions.com (BMS) is an Internet-based service that enables authors to be seen by publishers and ensures publishers don't miss the next bestseller. BMS brings authors, publishers and agents together in an efficient online system, where authors present their book proposal to the leading publishers in the industry from one central location and acquisition editors apply e-tools that allow them to sort through them and zero in on the ideas they find most interesting."

Hmmm. I kind of chuckled when I read this. The idea is that agents, after they are done wading through hundreds of queries and tons of partials and manuscripts, will log on to Bowker's website and start the process all over again? Wow! That sounds like a great idea! Not.

And, if I'm interpreting this correctly, editors from leading publishing houses will do the same thing! Why should editors depend on agents to sieve through the slush-pile when the editors now have the ability to do it themselves by logging onto Bowker's "proven model?" I'm sure they will be thrilled to spend their evenings searching for the "next bestseller" on Bowker's "simple, intuitive website." (Oh, I forgot to mention that authors pay $99 for the service.)

I apologize for my sarcasm, but this just seems like a bone-headed idea to me. Am I wrong? Is Bowker really providing an innovative service to frustrated authors, publishers and agents, or are they simply like the vultures on the rooftop, sensing the desperation among these groups and cashing in on this desperation while they can? What do you think? Will you post your work on Bowker's site?

ARE YOU WRITING IN A VACUUM LIKE HENRY DARGER?

An Open Response to Redleg

"You may well have passed on the next Henry Darger," said Redleg in response to yesterday's post.

Jon immediately knew who Henry Darger was; I did not and did some Googling to find out. Darger was a self-taught artist who lived in relative isolation and plastered the walls of his apartment with wild and beautiful, if controversial, art. The amazing works were discovered after Darger's death.

We get very cocky about our wired world and tend to discount any would-be authors who cannot or will not keep up with the current technology. Perhaps we do it at risk of passing over a literary Darger. I appreciate Redleg's take on this and will keep it in mind.

However, I don't think the call I received was a budding Darger. Sometimes people are just ill-informed and even lazy. We can't take the time required to tease them out of their ignorance and teach them how to write. There are ample resources available for ANYONE to learn this business. All it takes is some initiative.

I'm sure there are brilliant writers out there toiling in isolation and we and the entire publishing world will never hear about them because they don't use the Internet and they don't immerse themselves in the "proper" way to secure an agent and publisher. Like Darger, they pursue their craft out of passion, not in order to be published. We can hope that these writers will be discovered by someone who recognizes their talent. If not, their work may simply die when they do.

Thanks, Redleg, for reminding us that this work is not all slick and digitized. Fine writing is fine writing, no matter how it's done.

JURY'S IN: IT WAS A HOAX

Most of you weighed in that the "simply too busy" author wrote her astounding query with her tongue firmly planted in her cheek. Perhaps the underlying mission was to poke at agents who had rejected her.

I hope it made her feel better. Getting form rejections is no fun at all, I understand. But, for most agents, as we've discussed on this blog, the other option is no response at all and most authors don't want that either.

We receive over 100 emailed queries each week. Can you imagine how many hours we'd spend writing personal rejections? We'd have no time to read OR to sell.

So, Ms. Simply Too Busy, suck it up. If you're a fine writer and you've written an exceptional book, some lucky agent will want you to be his or her special darling. Excellent writing trumps all.

Happy weekend to all my author friends!

"SIMPLY TOO BUSY...."

MEMO

TO: Our Loyal Readers

FROM: The "Just When You Think You've Seen It All" department

RE: A doozie of a query

DATE: Today

Breezing through email queries this morning--some good, some bad, one just right--when I received the following: "Please forgive this form letter, but I am simply too busy writing every literary agent in the publishing industry to take the time to inquire individually."

"Huh?" thought I. "Inquire individually? What the heck? Isn't that my name in the 'To' box? And she's 'too busy?' This is supposed to make me what? Pant for her prose? Pul-eeze!"

"Please furnish (she continues), under separate cover (Like an email under an email? Huh?) your contact information and submission requirements. Further, since I'm in communication with so many agents, please don't take this as a rejection of your abilities if I don't respond."

Now I'm really nervous! Will my "abilities" make the grade, cut the mustard, meet with her approval? What if I never hear from her again? How can I mingle in publishing circles, hold my head high or even continue writing this blog?

Comes the coup de grace: "As you know, this is a large and extremely active industry (really?)and I can only afford the time to correspond with those agents most closely aligned with my talent, genre and goals."

"Damn! I just don't think I fit the bill here, said I (quite gleefully)." DELETE.

So, what do ya'll think of this? Is this writer on the level, somewhat demented, but on the level? Or is someone out there playing a mild hoax?

"ABUSED GUY," AIRPORT BOOKS & WRITING

I've never claimed to be the sharpest sword in the stone tech-wise. I have not yet figured out how to tweak this blog so that comments can be seen without going to another page. So, for you guys who don't like to jump pages, I'm going to post one here today and will continue to do so until I figure out a more streamlined way to bring these good comments to your attention. The following is from a reader in response to the post about an author I now call "Abused Guy," the writer who queries me and lots of other agents EVERY DAY with the same query:

What is UP with the abused woman composer guy? I just today saw some slightly older posts from J. Lyons and J. Faust about this exact same query. And there are at least two more reputable agents who posted in the comments that they're getting the same thing.Where did he get the idea that constant badgering was going to work? I'm fascinated, yet repulsed.

I'm fascinated too, and often, p---ed off! I've deleted Lee W's query over 20 times this month. Someday, maybe we'll know the whole story. Until then, I keep my delete button polished and at the ready.

It's been a chaotic time here on Cricklewood Cove. Jon's dad is now under hospice care in Chicago and Jon returned yesterday, sadder but wiser about hospitals, docs, and the mishmash we call our health system.

I've been less than efficient in running our businesses in his absence and I apologize to all of you whose partials or manuscripts are in our possession. Next week we'll be better, I assure you.

Jon came back with several "airport books," those titles that you wouldn't buy ordinarily, but now that you're in an airport, well.....

I asked him about one by Lee Child that was tossed out of his briefcase. "It's not nearly as good as several of the partials we're considering," he said.

Kinda makes you wonder, doesn't it? We are becoming extremely picky about what we take into our agency because the editors we pitch are so picky. Yet Jon said the protagonist in the Child book was like a bad, featureless paper doll. "There was nothing there that made me want to read on," he said.

I shouldn't be too hard on Child. (I've never read his books.) Jon had just finished the newest James Lee Burke novel and who can come up to that? But I guess the message here is to craft your characters well. Lee Child writes to a formula, but it's not a formula that resonates with Jon or me. Do you have a formula?

PUBLICISTS OR AGENTS? GOOD QUESTION

OMG--Two posts in one day? Yep. Our reader "Reason Reanimator" just posted the following questions. Because we are unique, bi-tasking agents and because others ask us how it works, I felt it was important to answer RR's questions for all to see.

Reason Reanimator: Hi. I've always been a fan of Rodale's books and information. Years ago I found an old copy of Make Compost In 14 Days squeezed in among my husband's grandparents' books--I immediately asked if I could have it. And I've still got it! I think that you worked there for years is very cool.

New Literary Agents: I'm glad you like Rodale books. I think it's cool I worked there too. It was better than going to grad school and I still have dreams about Bob Rodale--he was the genuine article!

RR: I'm confused over how you can wear both agent hats and publicist hats; they seem conflicting roles in at least one way. Publicists tend to take on works easier than agents could because publicists are typically paid ahead of time.

NLA: We operate our two businesses in parallel fashion. Publishers and published authors hire us after a book is published to work on the publicity campaign for the book. They pay us to do that work. We sometimes are hired to work on retainer for publishers.

As literary agents we take on authors whose books we think we can sell to publishers. Like all ethical agents, we take NO MONEY from our literary agency authors. If we sell a client's work we take the standard 15% cut of the advances and royalties paid by the publisher. We DO NOT take money to publicize our literary agency client's work. We do, however, talk up the books after they are published and try to get a good publicity clause in the contract with the publisher.

RR: So, theoretically at least, as an agent you could reject representing a manuscript but as a publicist wind up representing that finished book in future.

NLA: Possible, but hasn't happened yet. If it does, you'll be the first to hear about it!

RR: I should say that I'm down on agents (sorry about that), but I'm not down on publicists; especially because of the increased "noise" in society, good publicists are probably needed now more than ever. But simply put: someday you could find yourself publicizing a book you'd previously rejected as a manuscript. Wouldn't that be a little like, well, eating crow (so maybe you ultimately wouldn't publicize a book like that then lol)? ...Hmmm, maybe more agents should become publicists too. Maybe they'd learn more humility about what "quality writing" is, how well they know publishers--and especially how well they "know the reading public"! Everyone probably wishes they crystal-ball knew what would sell, but I think comparatively few people even come close to guessing with high accuracy.

NLA: I'm sorry you're down on agents too, but glad you like publicists. (By the way, did I mention I'm a Gemini?) But let's talk about why we reject so many projects. Sometimes the book is just not good enough. Or, the book may be fine but it just doesn't resonate with us. We have to be PASSIONATE about a book to sell it to an editor. And quite often we pass because we simply don't think we have the contacts necessary to sell the book. It just happened this morning. I rejected a potentially winning book on weight-loss, not because it wasn't good, but because I don't have a clue how I could sell it. I'm thrilled when a book we reject gets snapped up by someone else. It means the system is still working. And, BTW, there are other agent/publicists out there!

RR: Your blog seems low-key, personal and more writer friendly; I cannot say the same for most others. I'm curious if your place will remain the same the longer you're at the agenting role. I do think that the nicest agents tend to be the newest ones. In general, publishing burns out most people pretty fast. WHY has always been beyond me. Publishing's hardly air-traffic controlling! I worked in and for a large nonfiction house myself--quite a tiring job at the quarter ends, but other than that, not much stress.Anyway, good luck to you!

NLA: Thank you for the compliment! I guess you'll just have to keep reading to see if I turn into the wicked witch of Fogelsville. If you have other questions about the way we work, we'd love to hear them. Jon just said that he when he's in the midst of logging in and reading partials and manuscripts, answering queries and keeping it all organized, he feels he IS an (air) traffic controller! But, meanwhile it's a beautiul day in the neighborhood and we love our jobs!

AGENTS & EDITORS, AUTHORS & AGENTS

I often whine and boast about our dealings with authors and queries, partials and manuscripts. I seldom discuss "the other side" of our job as agents, our outreach and business with editors at publishing houses.

If you're fond of analogies, I guess you could say that agents are to editors as authors are to agents. In other words, if you are an author wooing a literary agent you want to play by the rules, you want to put your best foot forward, you don't want to goof up by sending a sci-fi query to an agent who hates that genre. In short, you polish your shoes, iron your shirt, brush your teeth and put on lots of hair goo before you query an agent.

We're in the same boat when we pitch an editor. We normally call editors we've never met to discuss a project we think will be of interest. Sometimes we talk to the editor; sometimes we talk to the editor's assistant. It makes us nervous. We plan carefully before we make these calls. Our hands sweat and we take a deep breath before we dial the number. We don't want to waste their time or pitch a book that is not of interest. We brush, floss and sit up straight and usually the editors are very nice and tell us to send our projects in. We feel very good after these calls. (It's even more nerve-wracking when we meet editors in person for the first time.)

But, maybe we can increase our outreach. That's why I'm writing today. This blog has always been dedicated to authors. We write it to keep you informed about our business and to make sure you know just what we are looking for. You seem to appreciate this information and your comments and suggestions are much appreciated.

As you know if you read this blog, I am now Twittering and find that publishers are beginning to follow my Tweets. I hope they will follow me back to the blog. I'm thinking of writing about the books our agency is trying to sell to editors, reporting on what we're working on and how we're approaching publishers.

Here's the big question: Would you, the authors who read this blog, find this information interesting? Or would you feel I'm straying from the basics of author-agent relationships? Let me know what you think?

Thanks.

A NEW BOOK EXPO IS COMING TO TOWN

Self-publishing is not going away.

Two publishing veterans announced recently that they are going to hold a Self-Publishing Book Expo:

The time has come to have an exhibition where the spotlight is solely on self-published books and authors. The first annual Self-Publishing Book Expo—or the SPBE as we’ve begun to affectionately call it--will bring national focus and attention to the fastest-growing segment of today’s publishing industry. Unlike any other book exhibit, the Self-Publishing Book Expo will be the only event of its kind to highlight the books of self-publishing companies and their authors, and give them the prominence and prestige they deserve.The SPBE will bring together many of the key players who make this universe the thriving area it has become, while simultaneously exposing both the houses and the authors to a greater audience of other publishing professionals, booksellers, media, and consumers.

The Expo will be held in NYC on November 9. Who will attend? You can certainly expect to see self-publishing companies like Author Solutions (owners of iUniverse, Author House and Xlibris) and perhaps others. Whenever something new like this crops up it's always wise to "follow the money" and these are the folks who stand to profit from this event. The fee for the day is $15.00, so many frustrated authors will probably attend too.

[NOTE: Author Solutions will have revenue of $100 million this year according the The Wall Street Journal.]

Is this a good thing? Well, I'm for any venue that brings writers and book lovers together. I would caution authors to take it all in, but not to get carried away. Self-publishing is an evolving art and fraught with monetary and emotional pitfalls. "Buyer beware" is an apt warning to he or she who wants to self-publish. When you sign on with a publisher who asks you to pay for the process only one of you is assured of a profit, and it's not the author.

I'll keep track of this event and may even attend myself just because I'm curious. I'll keep you posted.

Do any of you have good or bad self-publishing experiences to relate?

DO YOU TWITTER?

I just got this comment from Anonymous:

Hi Kae, Are you on Twitter? It's fun, informative and there are numerous agents, editors and publishers that tweet about the industry. It's also very addicting!

OK, here's the brutal truth. Yes, I have an account on Twitter. And, yes, I have Twitted, but here's the rub. I can't, for the life of me, figure out how this is going to help our business(es), our standing with authors and publishers, my bank account or my general well-being.

And it's not for lack of trying! I really, really want to be part of the Twitisphere. Peter Shankman says I must. Friends say I must. The industry Twits constantly. What's WRONG with me that I haven't found the key to life, love and happiness through Twitter? Jon and I both feel that this is a cute fad that takes up time, but will wither on the vine in good time. Are we wrong? Why?

So, dear readers, help me out! How will my regular Twits (Tweets) help me as a literary agent? How does Twitter help you?

SETH GODIN TALKS TO AGENTS

Seth Godin is a guy you should get to know. A few days ago he posted an article every agent and author needs to read. He talks about--gulp--agents--all kinds of agents. Literary agents are right up there. Here's what Seth has to say:

"Literary agents are crucial when publishers believe that their choice of content is essential but have too many choices and too little time. But publishers don't trust every literary agent. They trust agents they believe in. Key point: anonymous agents are interchangeable and virtually worthless. Agents that don't do anything but help one side find the other side in a human approximation of Google aren't so helpful any more."

I couldn't agree more. Literary agents need authors who trust us and want to work with us. But unless we have solid relationships with the editors who will purchase our clients' work, we cannot succeed. This is the most difficult hurdle new literary agents face and one we've been working on since we opened our agency. As book publicists we knew and had contacts with many publishers--on the marketing/publicity side. Our challenge was (and is) to step across the hall and buddy up to the editors at those houses. The only way to do that successfully is to bring them books they want.

Here's another priceless nugget from Seth:

"...agents must...consider who they are selling to. Should talent agents only sell to Hollywood? Literary agents only to book publishers? ...When markets change, agents can lead the way, not follow along grudgingly."

I confess I've been thinking about this for some time. In these days of POD and instant books, there are many strategic marketing benefits available to savvy companies who want to put their brand on an appropriate book. After all, Starbucks picks bestsellers to sell in it's stores. What about taking this a step further? Would Honda consider publishing a book about the open road? If we take on a book about eyesight, should we approach Lens Crafters as a potential publisher?

Just a few thoughts spurred on by Godin. He's always one to kick one's brain into motion.

A TALE OF TWO CLIENTS (OR PLEASE DON'T TELL US HOW TO WORK!)

We had a rather dramatic ending to our work week--we fired a client. Hate that.

Here's what happened:

In the "old days," agents made several hard copies of their clients' manuscripts which they would then mail to eager publishers. Some editors, publishers and agents still work that way. But the convenience of emailing manuscripts is catching on. Now, most of our editors prefer that we email manuscripts to them--usually in RTF (Rich Text Format). So, when we take on new clients, we ask for both hard copy and in an electronic RTF version.

Sometimes editors give us the option of sending either way. We prefer the email version for so many reasons--the salvation of trees, the elimination of many extra steps, plus saving ourselves the cost (constantly escalating) of making copies. So, whenever possible, we email manuscripts to publishers.

I explained this a few weeks ago to a client and asked her to please email her manuscript in RTF. She told me she was "technically challenged" and would have to get help. For the past two weeks we've been emailing back and forth as she and her helpers have been trying to send the manuscript via email. I learned on Friday, after she sent a PDF version, that it was not the technical aspects that bothered the author. It was the fear that editors would steal her work if they had it in an electronic format. I explained that this is standard practice now in publishing. We are working with professional editors and publishers whose ethics forbid such plagiarism. She consulted two "experts" and decided that her work would be in jeopardy if it was emailed to publishers. (Her "experts" are people who are technically savvy, not publishing pros.)

After several weeks of haggling, I told her I was releasing her from our agency contract. I love her book, but it's just not worth the fighting. I fear this kind of stubbornness would replay itself in many other ways during our relationship and life is just too short. We are in the trenches every day with editors and we resent being told how to do our business.

Compare this attitude with our other clients who simply convert their Word document into RTF and send it on to us. The author/agent contract is a collaborative dance. We respect the author's right to question our techniques, and we try to be as flexible as possible. But, the business is changing under our feet. And we pride ourselves on our work to keep up with these changes. It just makes us nuts to be second-guessed on standard publishing policy.

Am I crazy? How do you feel about sending electronic versions of your work to publishers before you have a contract?

SARAH PALIN: $7 MILLION DOLLAR AUTHOR?

One of my favorite long-term clients called me yesterday, nearly in tears about the rumors surrounding the $7 million Palin book deal. "I simply can't believe that publishers would want a book like this when they won't give our book the time of day!" she wailed.

She has a good point. This author has had two books published and she is highly credentialed with a Ph.D and vast experience in her field. Her co-author has similar credentials. But neither of them is famous. They don't write a column for a magazine or a newspaper. Their opinions aren't sought by television or radio shows. You wouldn't recognize their names.

Their book is wonderful--well-written, well-researched with thought provoking ideas that could be of great help to a great many people. Why are we having such a hard time getting publishers to look at it, when "that woman" (Palin) is being courted by the biggest and best?

First, of all, I cautioned my author, no deal has been struck, to my knowledge, between Palin or Palin's agent and any publisher. (Rumor has it that the $7 million dollar balloon was floated in order to get the attention of publishers.) Will Palin get a book deal eventually? Of course. Why? Because we all know who she is. Because her face is familiar. Because we've seen her on television and on the cover of newspapers and magazines coast-to-coast. Because the Palin buzz is still out there and we all want to know more about this quirky character who made "mooseburgers" famous.

Does this mean that you can't get a nonfiction book published if you're not a household name? No. It happens every day. But most published nonfiction authors developed a "platform" in order to give publishers more confidence in their ability to sell books. Perhaps they are public speakers, or MAYBE THEY BLOG. It's not enough to write a good nonfiction book these days. Your platform must precede you so that by the time your agent is approaching publishers, he can tell them how many people listen to you already and are dying to get their hands on your unpublished book.

"But, it's not fair!" says my author, and I agree. It's not fair. But that's that way things are. So, if a nonfiction book is in your future, start working on your platform now. You'll be glad you did.

Oh, and my author? As I'm writing this she's working on establishing a blog. She's a fine writer with great information. I'll let you know when she has posted a few times.