WEIRD & WHACKY QUERIES

It's been hotter than blue blazes here in beautiful Pennsylvania. Humid too. This extreme weather causes people to act strangely sometimes, even if they don't live here. Last week, as I was trying to finish up the revised manuscript of a new client, the phone rang.

"Kae Tienstra."

"Is this Kate Ienster?"

"Yes, this is Kae."

"OK, what do you do?"

"I'm an agent and a book publicist (now I'm getting antsy). How can I help you?"

"Do you publish books?"

(Really getting steamed--looking longingly at my most excellent manuscript.) "We don't publish books. We are agents. We are publicists."

"Do you take women's fiction?"

"Yes."

"Like I have this book I'm working on, but I don't know where I should send it."

(Inner monster has arisen--fangs are now unsheathed.) "You need to go to the library and read The Writers Market 2010. You need to go online and learn about the industry."

"Learn about what?"

(Monster salivating now, making low moans, putting claw over phone and making obscene gestures to Jon. Now, taking deep yoga cleansing breath...) "You need to educate yourself about the industry. Do you ever go online."

"Online? What do you mean?"

(Now monster is being tempered by good fairy on right shoulder. Be kind!)

"Do you have a computer?"

"No."

(Monster is now weeping slightly and glaring at good fairy.)

"You need to learn about computers. You need to learn about publishing. Most publishers today want electronic copies of everything."

"What is an electronic copy?"

(Monster in a pool of tears.)

"Go to the library. Learn about publishing. Learn about computers. Write your book. Then send me a query."

(Monster goes up in puff of smoke.)

"What's a query?"

(Good fairy explains query and quietly finishes conversation.)

Sigh. Happy summer all you informed writers!

INDEPENDENCE DAY

"Fireworks, who needs stinking fireworks?"

By the look of my inbox, lots of folks have taken off for the holiday weekend. (I emailed a press release yesterday to 200 health editors at newspapers and 20 bounced back as "out of the office.") We're not going anywhere this weekend, preferring to use the time here. Jon's got a stack of partials and manuscripts to read and so do I.

OK, even though Norton opposes it, we will go to a nearby park for the fabulous fireworks display brought to us each year by the local mortician. Yep, that's right, the mortician. Think about it--it's great PR! Blast off with us...before you blast off for good!!

Since it's the start of the holiday weekend, I have some random thoughts to air, some book-related, some not.

• On the query front--another "abused woman, greatest composer." When will it end?
• We've always asked for partials and manuscripts in hard-copy format. We're beginning to change that policy. I'm asking for manuscripts to be sent electronically and partials will follow soon, I expect. Jon is wedded to his hard copies, and he's not unlike a large ocean liner, difficult to turn around. But eventually, he too will be reading online I suspect.
• I want to get an electronic reader that allows me to load in partials and manuscripts. Any suggestions? Does Kindle do this?
• As I've mentioned before, I read constantly--not just partials and manuscripts, but books. I'm reading Hotel Paradise by Martha Grimes now. It was published over 10 years ago, but it is worth your time if you like cozies. Grimes is so brilliant in relating back story.
• I'm also reading an advance copy of a book I picked up at BEA called Friend of the Family, published by Algonquin. The author writes with a precision and flair that keeps me turning pages. She's not Jodi Picoult, but she's every bit as good. I'll give you her name in another post.
• Jon's off to Chicago next week. I'll be busier than ever here.
• When Jon returns we'll gear up for 3 days of grandsons Rob (age 4) and Max (age almost 2) while their parents go camping.

Happy Fourth of July everyone! Take a break from your writing. Eat a hot dog. ENJOY YOURSELVES!

QUIET FRIDAY

At the midpoint of our morning walk today Jon remarked that it was "quiet, too quiet." Our favorite dogs, Annie and Mazie were not outside to greet us, the school buses were absent, no kids on the corner, no crazed commuters. Duh! For most of the world this is a holiday. For us, it's business as usual, but the down time does give us an opportunity to try to catch up.

To complicate things this week--we are breaking in a new email system. Our old system, Lotus Notes, has been great, but it's time to move on. So our friends/clients Rob and Jane Kirkland spent all day last Sunday installing the new Outlook 2007 with Business Contact Manager on to our computers. Notes is still there as well until we get all the kinks worked out. Jon's Outlook seems to be working like charm; mine is not, so things are moving much slower than usual. Rob and Jane will be here again this weekend to work out the glitches and finish the installation. Watching those two work, one on one computer, one on the other is awe-inspiring. They are both IBM/computer geniuses and I swear, for them it's a competition to see who can correct the glitches first. (I hear strains of "Dueling Banjos" in the background when they work.)

We'll feed Rob and Jane a nice Easter dinner and celebrate Rob's birthday when they finish their work and we should be up and running full-speed next week.

For those of you who have queried, your queries will be answered. Jon is afraid that he's missed a batch of queries in the transition and encourages you to query again if you've not recieved an answer. We usually answer queries within a month. And for those of you who've been good enough to send requested partials and manuscripts, we thank you for your patience. We are moving forward and we will someday get to the bottom of the piles!

We wish you all a lovely holiday weekend!

A TALE OF TWO CLIENTS (OR PLEASE DON'T TELL US HOW TO WORK!)

We had a rather dramatic ending to our work week--we fired a client. Hate that.

Here's what happened:

In the "old days," agents made several hard copies of their clients' manuscripts which they would then mail to eager publishers. Some editors, publishers and agents still work that way. But the convenience of emailing manuscripts is catching on. Now, most of our editors prefer that we email manuscripts to them--usually in RTF (Rich Text Format). So, when we take on new clients, we ask for both hard copy and in an electronic RTF version.

Sometimes editors give us the option of sending either way. We prefer the email version for so many reasons--the salvation of trees, the elimination of many extra steps, plus saving ourselves the cost (constantly escalating) of making copies. So, whenever possible, we email manuscripts to publishers.

I explained this a few weeks ago to a client and asked her to please email her manuscript in RTF. She told me she was "technically challenged" and would have to get help. For the past two weeks we've been emailing back and forth as she and her helpers have been trying to send the manuscript via email. I learned on Friday, after she sent a PDF version, that it was not the technical aspects that bothered the author. It was the fear that editors would steal her work if they had it in an electronic format. I explained that this is standard practice now in publishing. We are working with professional editors and publishers whose ethics forbid such plagiarism. She consulted two "experts" and decided that her work would be in jeopardy if it was emailed to publishers. (Her "experts" are people who are technically savvy, not publishing pros.)

After several weeks of haggling, I told her I was releasing her from our agency contract. I love her book, but it's just not worth the fighting. I fear this kind of stubbornness would replay itself in many other ways during our relationship and life is just too short. We are in the trenches every day with editors and we resent being told how to do our business.

Compare this attitude with our other clients who simply convert their Word document into RTF and send it on to us. The author/agent contract is a collaborative dance. We respect the author's right to question our techniques, and we try to be as flexible as possible. But, the business is changing under our feet. And we pride ourselves on our work to keep up with these changes. It just makes us nuts to be second-guessed on standard publishing policy.

Am I crazy? How do you feel about sending electronic versions of your work to publishers before you have a contract?

SLEEPING ON IT

Something is happening with the agency. The partials and manuscripts we requested last spring and summer are of a consistently better quality than those we requested in the "early years." That's the good news AND the bad news. Now it's much harder to make a final "go or no-go" decision. Jon employs the "sleep on it" technique. If he's having trouble deciding on a partial or manuscript, he'll put it aside for at least a day or two. When he comes back to it, his head has cleared and he can make a decision based on:

1. His passion for the plot and the writing


2. His belief that others (in other words EDITORS) will share his enthusiasm


3. The joy the work brings him; how it rattles in his head long after he's read it

If the work stands up to those judgements, he'll move forward. If not, he'll reluctantly pass. It seems to be a good method and I'm trying to employ it myself. I have two such projects on my desk today. At this point, they are both calling to me. I think I'll sleep on it.