SPAM ALOT?

Dear Writers:

Please make sure this email message isn't automatically sent to the agents who kindly respond to your queries:

I apologize for this automatic reply to your email. To control spam, I now allow incoming messages only from senders I have approved beforehand. If you would like to be added to my list of approved senders, please fill out the short request form (see link below). Once I approve you, I will receive your original message in my inbox.

We get these responses every once in awhile and I always ask myself, "Huh?"

You go to the trouble to email a perfectly good query. Then we go to the trouble to email back a nice rejection--or--be still my heart--perhaps a "Please send more--we love this--we love you!" response. And what happens? A robot tells us we are not approved. It makes me feel like my credit rating isn't up to snuff or my deodorant has failed me!

We trash these messages and then you never know what our response was. But that's your fault. Make sure we never get this silly automated message. I'm not going to take the trouble to become one of your special "approved senders." Why, I hardly know you!

OK, I feel better. It's going to rain tomorrow and I'm going to bake cookies and drink wine while Jon cooks one of his special dinners! Have a nice weekend.

OKLAHOMA!, ELECTION FEVER & EXCLUSIVES

"Ye gods," as they say in the movie version of "Oklahoma" in-which-is-starring-one-of-my best-friend's-handsome-sons-in-a-local-production. (Remember the name Colin Hooker-Haring--he'll be a big star one day.)

Where was I and why haven't I been blogging? I've been working on our local presidential campaign, that's where. Phone banking, meeting, cooking for the crew, stuffing envelopes and sorting brochures. Oh, yeah, also working on our book publicity campaigns and the literary agent biz. For sure I haven't been blogging.

But today I write because I want to talk about exclusives. We don't ask for them. We don't want them. Jon is struggling with a writer at this very moment who is being rather troublesome. Jon enjoyed this guy's partial. He asked for the manuscript, but certainly did not ask for an exclusive look. We are so behind in our reading that asking for an exclusive would be completely unfair AT THIS POINT.

In the end, Jon turned down the manuscript for many good reasons. He wrote to the author and told him, in broad strokes, why he was not going to take the book. The author asked for specifics and told Jon that he'd given the manuscript to us "exclusively," and therefore, Jon was obliged to give the author his reading notes. He then suggested that he'd pay for the reading notes. Jon is writing him yet another email with the final goodbye.

But this experience has left a bad taste in our literary mouths. You should never consider that an agent has requested an exclusive unless that agent has said he wants an exclusive. And, please don't offer us money for any reason. That is a big, big no-no.

Now for the good news. We've been up at 6 every morning for the past two weeks to get caught up on our partial and manuscript reading. We'll continue until we have read everything through the September pile. So, if you're waiting to hear from us, give us a bit more time. We're getting there!

AN INTERESTING QUESTION

In response to a recent post, a reader inquired:

"On a new subject, how would you, or do you, handle someone who submits a novel that he has already published on the Amazon Kindle, or similar e-reader device? I currently have three previously self-published titles listed on the Kindle and have just finished my third round of edits on a new novel and am considering sending that straight to the Kindle, with or without an ISBN. If I do would I be killing any chances of obtaining agent representation for it."

I'm not a Kindle expert--Jon and I are looking into this. It may be that if you publish with Amazon, they hold the rights (at least the e-rights) to your book. We'll find out and blog about this later.

I can't speak for other agents. But we have received several queries for novels that have been self-published or have been published as e-books. Right or wrong, we're never inclined to look too hard at these--perhaps to our peril. Unfortunately for self-published or e-published novelists who query us with their project, neither Jon nor I can muster the enthusiasm to give them much attention. Other agents may have a totally different view--that's just our bias and we can't even defend it at this point.

To answer the reader's question: We don't know if it would be killing your chances for obtaining agent representation. That's up to individual agents. But, it would not be a project we'd pursue with vigor.

On the other hand, before I was a "real" agent, I sold two self-published books (nonfiction) to big publishers. I would consider an excellent nonfiction self-published book today as long as it was uniquely wonderful and the author was a great spokesperson for the book and has "great platform." As for Jon, nonfiction seldom interests him, unless you happen to be a Formula One driver writing about your career.

WHY ISN'T IT RIGHT FOR YOUR AGENCY?

Another morning of query responses. I'm continually amazed by the number of queries you all send us--some great, some so-so, some just not for us, some awful. Each week we ask a few of you to send us more. But, most of these queries are rejected--a sad fact of this business. As I've written before on this blog, we've developed a pretty standard rejection email which states that the query simply does "not meet the needs of our agency." A few days ago a rejected author asked, "Why isn't it right for your agency?" I didn't answer his question because I simply can't get into that kind of dialogue.

But I can address questions like that here. So, without further ado, here are a few reasons your project is not right for our agency:

• We don't represent the genre--If it's a memoir (unless you're Hillary Clinton or Madonna), a business book, Christian fiction, or deals with child or animal abuse, it's not for us.
• The query is badly written--Face it, if you can't write a good query, you probably can't write a good book.
• I'm bored after the first two sentences--Nuff said.
• You've told me much too much in the first paragraph--Please, please, please, don't tell me about your husband, wife, children, education, parents, job, etc. I DON'T CARE! (at this point). Later on, when we're working together, I'll care--a lot.
• You've sent us attached material. We don't open unsolicited attachments.

I could go on and on--in fact I think I have gone on and on at some point!

But let me close with the "Pip of the Day." An author asked in his query if I was the right agent for his work and if not, if I could please recommend other agents who would be better for him.

Hello? That's not our job. Get thee to a bookstore and buy a copy of Jeff Herman's Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, & Literary Agents, www.jeffherman.com/guide/. The 2009 edition should be available soon.

NEW ENGLAND BOOK FESTIVAL

Busy time here at the agency. I wish we had more hours in the day!

Today, though, I have another question for you. It concerns the New England Book Festival. Have any of you heard of it? Have any of you published authors won the New England Book Festival award?

I ask because we regularly get notices from the JM Northern Media family of festivals encouraging us to enter our clients' books (at $50 a pop) for award consideration. In addition to the New England Book Festival, JM Northen Media sponsors the DIY Convention, Do It Yourself in Film, Music & Books, New York Book Festival and Hollywood Book Festival. They are sponsored by The Larimar St. Croix Writers Colony, The Hollywood Creative Directory, eDiffy, Shopanista and Westside Websites.

I Googled "The Larimar St. Croix Writers Colony" and was immediately bounced back to JM Northern Media. Hmmm. Now, I'm not saying this isn't on the level. I'm just asking: Which books have won awards? What wonderful things happened to winning authors? How significant are these awards? AND MOST IMPORTANT--Who the heck is JM Northern Media? Just curious.

THANKS FOR LETTING US KNOW

Three weeks ago Jon requested a manuscript from a promising writer. It arrived, was logged in and Jon looked forward to reading it in the near future.

This morning the "promising writer" emailed Jon to tell him the manuscript had been snapped up by another agent and that he (the author) was now under contract with that agent. Actually he said, and I quote, "Please be advised that I have accepted representation with a respected literary agency in NYC."

"Rats!" said Jon. (Well, perhaps not "rats" exactly, maybe it was a longer and much dirtier word.) "We missed a hot one," he grumbled. Then he wrote "promising author" a congratulatory email.

Miss a hot one we probably did, but kudos to "promising writer" for letting us know that he was in a serious relationship with another. Please, all you other promising writers, heed this writer's example. If you are fortunate enough to land an agent, tell all the other agents who are in the process of falling in love with you that your heart belongs to another. It's the right thing to do, even if it makes us sad.

THE INFORMAL SURVEY SAYS: REJECTION IS BETTER THAN SILENCE

It appears I hit a nerve with my question yesterday. I was whining about writing multiple "no thank you" notes to authors' queries and wondered if it was a worthy endeavor. I asked, "Would you rather have a form rejection from us, or would silence suffice?" All of you who responded said a word from an agent, even a discouraging word, is better than nothing.

I hate to admit Jon was right on this one, but you guys agree with him. So, we will continue to answer any and all queries. Thanks for taking the time to weigh in!