Jon's dad died yesterday at home in suburban Chicago. I can't believe he's gone. Though we never lived near the "senior Tienstra," his influence and opinions affected us each and every day. He was not an easy guy. Dictatorial and egocentric are terms that I don't use lightly, but they describe him perfectly. I gave up trying to get him to love me early on, but I think I earned his respect, despite the fact that I was a woman and a "career girl."
He was fierce, always fierce. Whether he was preparing perfect pork barbeque on the outdoor smoker he designed, fishing in his beloved Caloosahatchee River in Florida, selling insurance policies, or advising family members, it was always done his way or no way. He was tireless, working two jobs for half of his life. By day, a respected businessman, by night, "the grassman."
He taught his children the value and honor of work. He demanded perfection and when he didn't get it, he often closed the door forever.
He was tough. Perhaps it was the "small man complex" or maybe it was that he was the middle child of 12, born to Dutch immigrant parents with no time for coddling.
If you met him once, you didn't forget him. Though opinionated and outspoken, he could be charming and outgoing. When he talked to you, he talked to you. And he listened to you too. How many people do that today?
He was a man of another era. A time when men were men, women stayed home and took care of the house and the children, and good work was rewarded.
But he was the father of my husband and I'll always owe him everything for raising my Jon, an improvement by 100% on the old model. We'll miss John Franklin Tienstra and we will pay him homage each day when we talk to our fabulous children, and look into the clear, Dutch blue eyes of our grandsons.
"What does this remind you of?" - That's a much more useful way to get feedback than asking if we like it. We make first impressions and long-term judgments based on the smallest of clues. ...
4 hours ago