Thursday, October 15, 2009

"SIMPLY TOO BUSY...."

MEMO
TO: Our Loyal Readers
FROM: The "Just When You Think You've Seen It All" department
RE: A doozie of a query
DATE: Today
Breezing through email queries this morning--some good, some bad, one just right--when I received the following: "Please forgive this form letter, but I am simply too busy writing every literary agent in the publishing industry to take the time to inquire individually."
"Huh?" thought I. "Inquire individually? What the heck? Isn't that my name in the 'To' box? And she's 'too busy?' This is supposed to make me what? Pant for her prose? Pul-eeze!"
"Please furnish (she continues), under separate cover (Like an email under an email? Huh?) your contact information and submission requirements. Further, since I'm in communication with so many agents, please don't take this as a rejection of your abilities if I don't respond."
Now I'm really nervous! Will my "abilities" make the grade, cut the mustard, meet with her approval? What if I never hear from her again? How can I mingle in publishing circles, hold my head high or even continue writing this blog?
Comes the coup de grace: "As you know, this is a large and extremely active industry (really?)and I can only afford the time to correspond with those agents most closely aligned with my talent, genre and goals."
"Damn! I just don't think I fit the bill here, said I (quite gleefully)." DELETE.
So, what do ya'll think of this? Is this writer on the level, somewhat demented, but on the level? Or is someone out there playing a mild hoax?

10 comments:

DebraLSchubert said...

I have no idea if this writer is nuts or just crazy, but this is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time!! Thanks so much for the laughs on this rainy, gray day. ;-)

Jim_Wisneski said...

I'm left at "Wow!"

The sad part is that as funny as that is, someone took the time to write it thinking they were doing good.

Wow.

Rebecca said...

This made me laugh! It didn't even occur to me that she might be serious until you mentioned the possibility. I really really hope you don't get many serious queries like that one... :)

Glynis said...

Mmm, not April, so not a prank. I know! A complete fool trying to look clever.

teacherwriter said...

Actually, after thinking about it a moment, I'd say it's rather clever. If she/he intended the "quirky query" to grab your attention, it did. But as it can be said, there's attention, and then there's negative attention!

Carrie said...

Gotta be a hoax/mock query that mimics an agency rejection letter. GOTTA be...

Jack Roberts, Annabelle's scribe said...

That has to be fake. But the mind wonders how anyone has the time to waste on this prank. Don't they have writing to do?

ChristaCarol said...

I agree with Carrie. I think someone's a little too bitter about receiving more rejections than they can handle. It was cleverly done, and I did giggle, but what time they could've spent on doing something more productive with themselves...Ah, the world we live in.

Fran said...

It's a gag. Not a bad one, either...

Annielaural leFaye and Marcia Olney said...

doesn't seem mild to me..sounds right on...clever!...and it did catch you attention!! :)